From darkness to light

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I was 33 and had been having chronic symtoms of all sorts. After a life time of chronic, unmanageable pain having a diagnosis of many illnesses, was devastating yet relieving in a sense. I finally had a diagnoses. I struggled through 7 years of horrible, chronic symptoms and Dr appointments. All this while managing my family, my career and my health! I was pre diagnoses with lupus. It made sense, runs in the family and almost all the symptoms fit except the blisters. Luckily my rheumatologist was able to take a sample of a blister before diagnosis. When I returned for results I was told I have Behcets. I celebrated rite there in the exam room my Dr watching me, horror/confusion on her face. I was celebrating NO Lupis! I stopped and said "At least it's not lupus! Rite?!" She said I shouldn't be so excited over it and began to explained how things are going to be blah blah blah...it wasn't lupus so while the Dr explains my mind was racing. All the Uh huhs, yeahs and oks was me not listening. Dr asked that I go home do some research and said not to get in my head. I went home and googled Behcets. OH HELL NO!! I wished I had Lupus. Eventually getting on board took a couple of years. I kept my Management position but soon after being diagnosed I had to step down & take a leave of absence. 4 years later Im still unable to keep a job because of this illness. A year after my diagnosis and no symptom relief, things got way worse. My 14 year old son was diagnosed with Behcets. I've never been so devistated over ANYTHING in my life! Then this kid says "Dont worry mom, some things are just fate. Fate says we have eachother to get thru this." His strenth in that moment made me proud and slowly the weight lifted. Someone understands my pain, symptoms and confusion! I was still working on accepting that my life will change yet again. Six months later I was told I have Neuro BD. I turned around and jumped strait into a downward spiral. My husband and parents let me grieve all over again while later their efforts helped me climb out of that spiral. I had to get it together. I realized this was not time to let all this BD business hold me back. I worked so hard to redo my life style and have some sort of positive outlook on life. Unfortunately my health is regularly debilitating, however I have no thought of giving in or giving up! I'm still a manager, of the two of us, "by fate". The Lord, fate, life, Buda, Allah, or what ever your belief may be, wont give you anything you can't handle! Remember y'all, We are BAD ASS BOSSES! A boss of our illness & strength. DONT LET BD HOLD YOU BACK! We are here to support eachother. We need to lead eachother to the light in a time of darkness. I need to be led out of the darkness often & I'm not ashamed. I am what I am & I've decided to take my life back, like A BAD ASS BOSS