In 2001 I was working as a Prison Officer. As a result of an incident while on duty I now have complex PTSD. During the years 2001 to 2003 I tried to commit suicide on 3 occasions. They were serious attempts and the only thing that saved me each time was fate. I didnt announce my intentions and had planned for times when nobody would be around or expected to call. It took another 3 years before I got the official diagnosis of PTSD. Even though I am now on medication I still suffer mass insomnia. Horrific nightmares when I do sleep. Flashbacks, anxiety attacks, auditory illusions and many other symptoms form a large part of my condition.
Over the last 15 years I have been thankful for having a very supportive family and after suffering a relationship breakdown because of my condition I feel lucky to have now found a very caring and understanding partner.
Everyday is a struggle for me. Some days are better than others. The anniversary is a very difficult time for me and usually end up being quite a mess for a couple of weeks around it. I still attend psychology appointments, I am prescribed 3 different medications to take daily. My story isnt over and with the help of my friends and family I hope to one day live as near normal life as is physically and mentally possible.