Moyamoya

---

I have had heavy headaches for as long as I can remember. I was diagnosed to have migrane when I was 12 years old. In year 2011 I started to work in a big company as a payroll accountant, it was at the end of the year. It was a really hectit time since the end of the year includes a lot of information to several different authoroties, working hours was long.

I started to get heavy headaches and felt also dizzy from time to time. I also noticed that I started to forget things. I thought that all the physical symptoms where result of stress at work. 

The headaches just got worse and the pain killers didn´t help at all. After suffering for the pain for one week and I felt that my conditions just got worse I finally contacted the doctor. He made me some cognitive tests at the spot, asked questions and said that he is writing me a refferal to MRI and he wished me to go the straight away. 

I went there on the next day, it was Saturday. On Tuesday I got a phonecall where the nurse said that there was a finding on the MRI and I need to go back for more specific scan. So I did on Wednesday. On Monday the next week I got a new call and also an appointment to the neurologist. 

The appointment was 2012-08-31, will never forget that date. After talking shortly with him I asked him if I have brain cancer, because I that´s what I thought I had. He said: "No you don´t, you have Moyamoya". My answer was: "I have what? Well, whatever it is a person with this kind of personality can´t get an ordinary disease". 

I have now lived with Moyamoya for over 3 years. I have my good days and my bad days. This disesase frightens me still, makes me unsure of the future. This disease irritates me because I feel that I can´t live my life for the fullest. I hate the tireness, the weekness, the pains and the dizzyness..Me who has always loved to challenge myself at the gym, going over the pain I had felt on my muscles, can´t do that anymore. I feel that this disease took away the one thing I loved most and I am angry for that. 

I feel a bit afraid for the future and how this has effected my children. I have learned that eventhough this is at the end a road you walk alone, you have your fears and pains that you carry on your own, it also effects maybe more your love one´s. 

I am still waiting for my operation to be done. Year 2016 will show what happens according to my treatment plan.