The Beast Cometh...

It started when I was 19. The slight strange pressure building behind my left eye...the pressure soon became pain, and the pain soon became unbearable. Then it became the worst thing in the history of ever...and still the waves of pain persisted. It lasted an hour...an hour of pure living hell. And then it was gone. The next night, the pain woke me from a deep sleep. And soon a crescendo of pure blinding pain stabbing behind my left eye like the devil trying to split my eyeball with an ice pick. Like I said...pure living hell.

The doctor said I had a severe sinus infection...he was wrong. For 18 years I had these headaches every couple of years for about a month...every time they were diagnosed as sinus infections, and I lived in fear of the paralyzingly pain that I knew would come every evening after sleep.

The Beast finally landed me in the emergency room...they gave me Demerol. They gave me hydros...they put me on a morphine drip. Nothing stopped the pain, and they couldn't tell me what the problem was. I went through ct scans, MRI, spinal tap, you name it. One of my attending doctors suffered from cluster headaches, and he told me he thought I had them. I laughed at him and said these aren't headaches...they are brain attacks, and they make me want to eat a gun barrel. Funny enough, cluster headaches are nicknamed suicide headaches...if you have them...well, you know...

so now I live with The Beast...and await his coming with dread