I dressed myself today
Yes I dress myself everday. But this morning I was able to put my shoes on without a struggle. I was able to wash and brush my hair. I could put my pants on without sitting on the bed because normally if I stand up I almost fall over. My coughing is getting easier, I can breath a little easier, I was able to walk down stairs without my knees hurting and feeling like I would fall over.
I was trying to work out when those things had become hard to do. That was when it hit me like a concrete brick. I have had pain and breathing issues for at least 22 years. That is over half my life! How is that possible? Is our public health system so bad that when a person says they are in pain we ignore them?
Now in fairness my symptoms covered a wide range of things so often I was sent to different specialists for different problems. No one has ever put it all together before. Everything I have can be attributed to Ankylosing Spondylitis. I still have a long way to go but at long last I am heading in the right direction.
In the last few days I have been on an emotional roller coaster. It has finally sunk in how badly it has effected me and how different my life would have been without this. I gave up a career I loved, singing which meant so much to me and so many more things because I simply couldn’t do them any more. I am also discovering things I have NEVER been able to do and enjoy. I can’t get the lost time back. But I sure can make the most of what I will be able to do in the future.
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