My life with Kallmann Syndrome
I was always smaller than my peers. However, this became more noticeable when I reached my teen years. Everyone else began to grow and develop but I did not. In fact, by the time I was 17, I was barely 5'3" and I only weighed 98lbs.
This took its toll on me, emotionally. Much of one's emotional and social maturity is tied to their physical development. Throughout my teen years, I had a teenage intellect but not a teenage body. Social interactions were awkward. I was also an easy target for bullies, both among my peers and my teachers.
By my senior year in High School, I was suicidal. I could not imagine living any further. I tried to buy a gun from a classmate and this led to the school counselor calling my parents. My parents took me to a psychologist. The psychologist recommended a physical. At the physical, the general practitioner recommended seeing an endocrinologist regarding "development issues." Now I had a doctor affirming what I knew: something is wrong with me.
Prior to seeing the endocrinologist, he ordered many tests. These tests included blood work, a hand x-ray, and a CT scan. When I visited the endocrinologist, he said, "I've been over all the tests and I have it narrowed down. I just have one question: Can you smell?"
"No," I replied. I have never smelled anything.
"I know what it is," He said. He then explained about Kallmann Syndrome and that he was prescribing testosterone injections beginning that day. He said, "get ready, you are about to go through in six months what most go through in six years." He was right. My voice changed overnight. I grew to 5'10" and gained about 40 lbs in just a couple of months.
It would take decades to finally realize the emotional impact and it is a lifelong struggle that I face with depression, but KS is such a part of who I am, it is hard to imagine who I would be without it.
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