Just Starting

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I was diagnosed with PCOS in June of 2018. Less than two weeks ago from when I'm writing this. But the signs have been there for years. The excessive hair growth, the weight that is just a pain to try and lose, no period (I chalked that up to my IUD), my anxiety and depression. Come to find out that it's probable that my mother also had/has PCOS.

While I'm very fortunate to have extremely mild symptoms, the one that has caused me to suffer the most is my lack of a period. While this may not be the biggest deal to some, it crushed me when I was first diagnosed. In fact, it's still hard to think of some times. Because I want a big family. And I mean BIG. We're talking eight children or so. And the idea that I'll be lucky to have two or three is soul crushing. I can deal with the weight gain, the chin hairs, the moodiness. But to not fulfill my lifelong dream of having lots of children of my own? Of being a mother? It hurts. A lot.

I'm just starting my story. But I'm hoping that it has a very happy ending.