Living with Spinal Stenosis. How to live with Spinal Stenosis?

Living with cervical spinal stenosis is not easy. It is exhausting not only physically but also emotionally and mentally. Every morning, upon waking up, when the pain is worse, I have to fight to stay positive and face the day. At first, I always find myself angry and frustrated because of my physical limitations. The daily pain is almost unbearable, depressing and isolating. The feeling that no one understands what I’m going through; and when some well-meaning friends and family members say that I should be positive about my condition, make my pain worse. Sometimes I am tempted to respond, “just try to walk in my shoes. (It won’t take a mile actually before you can understand).” And, “You don’t know, every day I am fighting to stay positive, so don’t tell me to be positive!”

Luckily, it didn’t take long for me to learn to accept my condition. The acceptance made things easier because it made me consciously get rid of anger and frustrations. I follow all the instructions of my rehab doctor specially the first thing that he said to me, take care of my body first before anything else. To listen to my body, that means pacing myself and breaking down chores or asking help. I trained myself to say thank you to God every morning when I wake up even when I’m in so much pain. I thank Him after I take a bath, dress up, toothbrush and do chores because I can still do these things even when it hurts. The pain draws me near to God. I need to pray more for strength, comfort and peace. I read the Bible more to find these things too. When it’s hard to pray because the pain is worst, I listened to the Psalms and just cried all the pain out and the peace that surpasses all understanding (Phil 4:6) fills my heart. I also learned that all the other negative emotions- resentments, bitterness, unforgiveness makes the pain worse so, I am trying to get rid of all of these too. It is important also to avoid stressful situations or toxic people. I learned that in accepting and not being angry at my condition can I overcome this depressing pain.

It will take a while and will require great patience, and I think it is a process, when friends and family will really come to comprehend my condition. Besides, or at least, in my case, I myself can’t fully understand my symptoms. The best thing to do is to focus on the good things that I have specially my family and friends, though they are not perfect (no one is), they are my support. I will try to express my gratitude to them. Making good and happy memories with them is important because there will always be times when I cannot be there for them because my pain is up. I believe that filling my eyes, mind and heart with beautiful things will outweigh the pain remembered by my brain.

Finally, let me leave you with this quote from Teresa De Cicco, “As we begin to transform, illness and pain can also be seen as a ‘messenger’ for spiritual growth. What does this illness mean? What can I learn from the occurring in my life?” The first purpose of going through this, I think is for us to help and support those with the same condition, fulfilling the expressed purpose of this community.