My Story

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When I was 12 years old back in 1999, I had long thick Dark brown hair. Everyone knew who I was by my hair. And I grew up always having long hair. It was beautiful. 

One night I remember babysitting and I was sitting on the couch and My hair was down and I kept pulling from my Part at the top of my head. I didnt think anything of it until a couple days later and a friend pointed it out and Then I was worried because I had a Bday party to go to that next weekend.

Party came. I put my hair in a pony tail and all the hairs that were growing back were noticeable. So peopld kept asking what had happend and  I said my baby nephew pulled my hair out. 

Years go by and I didnt think of telling my Mom about my hair pulling. And when I was 19 my Best friend comes over and shes telling me a story and I tell her how I just cant stop pulling and she tells me her little sister pulls also but from other parts of her body like eye lashes, Brows, pubic hairs etc... So then she tells me I probably have Trich and I should look it up. 

I looked it up and it has all the information I need in the first few sentences. I never felt so weird but then also felt a sigh of relief because I AM NOT STRANGE and I AM NOT ALONE. Except...I was because nobody I knew or associated with heard of it and I then felt like a freak.

I decided around 24 that I would let people know, educate them.and keep doing my research. Now here I am at 31, Married and 4 kids, plus lots of gray, my thick hair has Faded into thin long hair. I hate myself more and more. I pull when bored, half asleep, stressed, happy, upset or angry. It makes it even worse when I TRY NOT to pull. Hate when my kids see me doing it or my sister because they tell me to STOP...I CANT JUST STOP. If it were so easy, Dont you think Inwouldnt be doing it after so many years??? Ugh. 

I use Aussie FREEZE hairspray. It coats my Pony tail or bun and when I pull, Instead of pulling the hair out, I pull the hairspray off the strands of hairs. As much as it helps...sometimes it just isnt enough. 

I pray one day I can just stop. But until then...the struggle a d the disease is winning.