34 year old new mother colloid cyst with hydrocephalus and craniotomy

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6 months afer childbirth and returning to work I was presenting with solid headaches that felt unfamiliar as they had a whooshing type of effect in my head and would be brought on for no apparent reason and no relief from medication. My doctor prescribed anti depressants and would not consider any other options. I had never been happier in my life with a happy marriage a new son and a lovely husband and home. I did not respond well to the antidepressants/amitryptaline that he prescribed, after various beta blockers, and my mother demanded a brain scan as I was never unwell or even complained of being unwell in the past. Reluctantly I was given a C.T scan and immediately they contacted me to advise me to be taken to Newcastle General Hospital where the main neurosurgeon was waiting to see me. I arrived to be told by Mr Todd and Mr Nissan that I had a colloid cyst of the third ventricle and that I also had severe hydracephalus and that I would be immediately admitted to await an operation to drill 2 shunts into my head for relef of the fluid before they could operate,a full craniotomy and remove th cyst. I was assured that I was in the best possible hands , although I was asked for consent to allow Mr Nissan to operate under the instruction of Mr Todd, as this was so rare a case that he may never operate on anothe one in his whole career. I was told that this particular ailment usually only was discovered in the pathology lab as people dont normally survive it. I was also told that it was a ticking time bomb and that if "IT WENT" somewhere other than the hospital, I would not be able to be saved in time. There was no choice for me, and I had to leave my 6 mth old son and husband and be admitted to the neuro ward to await my fate. I had the fluid removed by the drains and a week later I underwent a 7 hour op/craniotomy to remove the cyst. I have little memory of my stay in hospital, however I get flashbacks. I am phobic about hospitals and syringes etc and think I went into a numb state of shock which helped erase the event from my mind. At recovery I was what I can only describe as "half there". I struggled to remember who I was, where I lived, where I worked or anything about myself. I was advised not to be left unsupervised as I may leave the gas on, bath running, go out and forget where to return to etc. I ws determined to get back to the memory I had of myself and tested myself daily by giving myself numbers or lines of information to remember throughout the day. Recovery was slow and frustrating but in time I got there. 17 years and I am aware that everyone thinks I have totally recovered, and perhaps I have, however I still think there is "something missing" from the old me that has never returned.