My monster within

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I was first diagnosed with CRPS 15 yrs ago after straining my ankle and work hard alone side the Pain tean and my awesome physio, after 12 months of burning crippling pai, having to wear a moon boot i tamed the monster that took over my life..a year after getting my life baxk on track another stupid accident, crushed my hand whilst moving a washing machine, the burning started within days and 8 weeks later was told i had CRPS there also, ( which i already knew)...another 2yrs of trying medication, hand therapy, mirror imagine, acupuncture and mind mapping,and once again i trapped away my monster...years past and life was sweet, i took up running and completed 4 10km runs, i hiked at the weekends, rode my bike, kayaked and even trained to become a Zumba instructor. My life was normal and full of fun. Then a slip on a step 2.5yrs ago changed ever.....my monster rose from the dead, like a dormant volcano violently  erupting. Only this time its fury was more powerful...not only had i this new pain to try control  but my previous 2 inmured areas had flaired up worse than before and i couldn't  control any....i was forced to use crutches and for 18mths struggled but tried sometime in vain to stay focused....i was on so may meds and my mobility was severely affected that was told no more driving, now living rural this was a big issue for me, my lifeline had been cut and i was forced into somewhat isolation....then one wet morning, whilst in the garden feeding the duck i slipped and hurt my shoulder, within daysnthat burning feeling began but this time there was something different, my arm started tingling and i had a heavy feeling in it, and occasionally it just stops working altogethe....now lets set the scene, can weight  bear on my right leg, have CRPS in my left ankle and foot, so putting all my weight on this limb is excruciating, left hand hurts like crazy when hold my crutches and now can't  put any weight on my right arm/shoulder.....walking has become near impossible and had to readjust and start using a wheelchair when my body wouldn't take anymore....now my dig thing is the amount of falls i have and with each one comes more pain in more parts of my body....i have now basically become a prisoner in my own home....to say my house isn't disabled friendly is an understatement....one entrence has 8 steps, another has 3 steps but to get to thismone have to walk up a grassy embankment, another has 4 narrow steps so cant use my crutches safety and the last one has a concrete  step into the laundry then 4 very step steps up into the house. To get tomthis one have to walk up the path and around the house on the grass.....Why don't  you  move i can here you saying, well this is my home. Its where i look out aross the river onto tje mountain....the place i could only dream about living in as a kid growing up in Manchester...i have days  when i struggle to thought, i hit rock bottom and life seems so unfair....i ask myself why me, i takeout my frustration on my partner....i hate my monster within, but still will  find a way to defeat it again.....it maymtake months or even years but it will be tamed once again......