My Bad Trip

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On the 4th of april 1999 my birthday i had planned to go out to a club.

At the club i took ecstacy which i had done a few times before.

About an hour later thigs were not so good and i was having bad trip.

I tried drinking water, i went outside for fresh air but nothing helped.

The next day i was fine a little shaken but other wise okay.

Three Days later i was watchig tv south park was on and i started feeling strage i noticed there was something odd with the picture on the tv. like it was in slow motion or something.

I then realised my bad trip had retuned. I had huge anxiety, panic attacks.

I thought i had damaged somthing in my brain.

A doctor i saw told me that prolonged ecstacy use can cause anxiey and depression.

But i had only taken it a few times.

I never felt depressed only extremely anxious. My anxiety levels always seemed to be at 10. (1-10)

morning to night.

I couldn't go out i stayed at home, only trips to the doctor.

Evetually i was persuaded to go into hospital where i stayed for two months.

when i left hospital the doctors and psycologist thought my problem was caused by some deep underlying problem.

I was other wise miss or undiagnosed.

The doctors did not think it was the drugs that caused it.

It is nice to know that there are other people like me and this thing has a name.

Now 18 years later my anxiety is still there maybe 3 somtimes 5.

I do feel alot better and i am able to function normally and i have good and bad days.

It has never completely left me and i don't think it ever will.